Sunday, December 12, 2010

Ho'oponopono: Healing Balm for Fearful Souls


I have a story to tell.  It's been brewing for several weeks.  

Many of you have written me with questions about whether Ho'oponopono really "works", and how we can tell.  I've heard similar questions on conference calls and live seminars also.  

Usually Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len breaks out laughing when we ask such questions, because it's impossible to know at any one moment whether we're being run by "data", or by Inspiration.  The best we can do is "just clean", and know that if we do that, all falls into place as it should.  Mabel Katz often says that we usually only "know" when looking back.

Despite this, it's human nature to get a little impatient sometimes. 

Anyway . . . the story.  Please bear with me.  I share the many steps so you can walk along with me.  

I've been dealing with a large government institution that manages some of my savings from many years' work as medical school faculty.  I had applied for a disbursement on the phone with a company counselor, as required.  And of course, Ho'oponopono cleaning with "thank you" all the while, as well as using the 3/4 full glass of water. 

The process got off to a challenging start, as the man kept changing figures and seemed confused about what forms were needed.  But he ultimately sent several which I could download from the web site, fill out, and return.  Only original forms were acceptable -- no faxes.  But supposedly once returned, I could receive my money in 3-5 business days.   

I did as instructed, and mailed everything back immediately.  Thank you, thank you.  I love you.

Then I attended a several day conference, during which I remembered that the financial company's original time estimate had passed by ~1 week.  So I called during a break.

After waiting in "queue" for ~30 minutes, counselor #2 answered.  I was irritated about waiting so long.  He checked into my case, and informed me that my packet was missing a necessary form that the University required.  My application could not be processed without this, and all my work would be null and void if their receiving this from me took longer than 10 days total from the time we started all this.   Ach!!!

It turned out that counselor #1 had not included this missing form in those he initially sent me.  Counselor # 2 didn't believe me at first, and went back to check on what they'd sent me.  Discovering I was correct, he apologized and said that the company had snail-mailed a copy to me.  I asked him if the company had included an address to return it to?  Should it go to them, or to the University?  He really wasn't sure.  "There's an address in the middle of a paragraph, and that's probably where it goes."  Okay . . . .

I was upset, but still cleaning.  I would not be home for several days to get to the form, which they refused to email or place in their web site "message" area as they had the other forms.  Had they done this, I could have accessed the new form from where I was.   Instead, the clock continued to tick.


Arriving home, I found the nearly indecipherable form -- along with a letter saying the company could not act on my instructions because my request was "incomplete".  It also told me to return the form "in the enclosed envelope."  No envelope came with the mailing.  Thank you . . .  grrrr . . . . thank you.
 
Frustrated, concerned about my bank account, and also fearful that I would have to re-do the whole process because of elapsed time,  I called the company again.  The queue was 25 minutes -- and I kept cleaning while trying to understand the form with its miniscule print.  Thank you . . . . flypaper . . . . thank you. 

While waiting, I checked through more mail that had come while I was gone.  A letter from Aetna was there -- saying that it planned to increase my health insurance premium in January.  Egad!  I was already tense about money, and here was an added, unexpected expense.  How could I pay for this too?  Thank you . . . hot chocolate . . . need Divinity now . . . :-)


Ultimately, on came counselor #3 -- a friendly-sounding man who apologized for the wait.  I explained my situation, and he read notes left by the other 2.  Could he help me fill out this form, which the University apparently needed -- and could he tell me where to mail it?

Um . . . . no.   Those are University forms.  Their company, though it manages funds for them, does not keep up with University forms.  However, the form is definitely required before any of my own money can come to me.  

After multiple questions, and multiple times placing me "on hold", he eventually found a name and phone number I could call at the medical school, to ask my questions.  (Including where to send the form.)  Thank you . . . grrr . . . thank you.

And, oh by the way -- the company will not be able to do an automatic deposit because my voided check does not list my full name.  "It will take 5-7 more days to mail the amount to you, once we receive what we need," he said.


By now I was very tired, almost despairing.  But I called the number, and asked for the name I'd been given.  A pleasant woman answered -- telling me this person had been retired since March.  Yikes!!  My heart sank further. Was there no end to this torture?

I explained my situation again, and asked if there might be someone there who could help me?  The same woman said, "I can. I am doing the job she was."  Eureka!  I thought.   "But I have a question to ask you first," she said.  Uh-oh.  I felt myself clench.  Thank you . . . . flypaper . . . light switch . . .

"Would you like to apply for the health insurance?"

"What health insurance?"  I asked.

"The health insurance you're entitled to, because you're vested with this system," she replied.  "All it requires is setting aside a small amount of your funds in an annuity, for a minimum monthly disbursement.  Then you can be included in our group coverage.  We have a liaison with that [financial] company who can tell you exactly what to do."

"I can do that?  Even though I don't live in North Carolina any longer?"


"Oh, yes," she said.  We have all kinds of faculty who've retired from our system, and they live all over the US.  They have our health insurance, and you can too.  It is also free for the rest of your life."

Oh. My. G_d. 

Had I not been through what felt like purgatory, my path would never have led to this Human Resources office or this very helpful woman.  I would never have known about this provision -- a Divine Provision, I think -- right when I agonized about paying the higher health insurance premium.

Within 5 minutes, she got me through the form, gave me the correct address for both mail and fax, AND got me the cell phone of the aforementioned university liaison.   She immediately emailed me the health insurance forms, and explained them to me.  Thank you!!  Thank you!!

I felt "bathed in healing balm", as one of my patients once described.  Immense gratitude, far deeper than even "Thank you" can communicate, still floods me about this -- and I marvel at Divinity's ways.  I feel humbled, just what I needed.  There I had been, all puffed up and indignant about jumping through so many hoops for money I had worked hard for -- and all the while, Divinity was preparing my way.  I was being given opportunity after opportunity to clean with each of these people, and probably countless others  behind the scenes.


Ho'oponopono keeps me in partnership with Divinity, rather than thinking I know how things "ought" to turn out.  And so, it "works" for me.  Of course I slip sometimes (okay, a lot of times).  But this situation was like thinking everybody forgot your birthday, and suddenly everyone you love shows up with smiles on their faces, bringing you a party. 

An ancient Hawaiian saying goes like this:  "Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way."  I know this for sure, now -- deep in my heart.  As Mabel says, "You never know where it's going to come from.  Just clean."  Thank you, dear Divinity, for loving me even when I slip.    

Peace begins with me,
Pam 

5 comments:

Proud Poppa said...

Perfect! Beautiful! Thank you, Pam! Even though we know it works, sometimes it's difficult in situations like this. Yet, as you so clearly described, our job is to just clean and say "Thank you to whatever shows up." Doesn't matter that we may be stressed, fearful or whatever, Divinity will bring about what is right and perfect and in the perfect way and timing for us.

Looking back as you described, we are grateful for every step of what was a trying series of experiences. I often remind myself afterward that I would have thought it nuts to be thankful for such an experience. However, the peace and joy and love is beyond indescribable. There is just no way that I personally know to tell others about SITH other than the basics that take less than 5 minutes. One has to do it for themselves. One can only prove it for themselves. It's like nothing else in my experience! I,too am at a point where I can only laugh when someone in all sincerity asks, "Does this stuff work?

Thanks again, Pam for the beautiful way you share your experiences!!!

Peace and Love,
Jimmy

Pam Pappas MD said...

Mahalo, dear Jimmy.

Cracking up with this kind of laughter is the best place to be.

With love,
Pam

Erika L Soul said...

hI Pam, I just got thru a frightful experience with my Mobile Phone carrier Vodafone, and then I read your post! I had to sort out a mobile bill where I had used internet on my phone which I never do plus we just updated to a new phone plan that came out last year. I realised that when I used my mobile for the internet as we were away from home over Xmas that I was very fearful of running up a bill and kept asking My hubee was it for sure it would come off our cap and we even checked with the store and they said yes.

After being on the internet I would check my bill and all seemed ok, but then when the Jan bill just arrived it had a large amount owing on it.

We got on the phone to vodafone and the woman didn't really know whats what at all but said she would apply a 50%off our bill cos of all the issues with it.
I was busy cleaning and asking my Angels for a Most Benevolent outcome thankyou . What we discovered by all of this is our phone plans real details on internet usage that we never knew about for a year even though we always check out our plan details.
so from this all we know that our last plan would use up our cap $ thats over for any internet usage but after that watch out a huge rate per mb but the new plan doesn't do this but charges you a very low rate of 50c per mb.

So when I got the new plan info verified with them and the bill halved I could see my responsibility and theirs with how they share the information and ours in finding it out , so a fair result.

I saw my beliefs caused alot of this and fear so I really got faced with my stuff and to let it go and be responsible within myself for what I experience. God Bless the staff who helped us as they were doing their best in a system thats complex.

thankyou I love you
Erika L Soul

Pam Pappas MD said...

Thank you for sharing your experience, Erika.

Dr. Hew Len says that businesses and organizations also have I-dentities, just like individual people do. So, every interaction becomes yet another opportunity to clean. Maybe we don't always want to, but it's an opportunity nevertheless!

Peace of I,
Pam

Jen said...

Pam, reading your post, I was reminded yet again that on a conscious level, we really don't have a clue what's going on, and that when we are in a situation that seems all wrong on the surface, our job is to clean, let go, and trust - over and over again, as you described - and thus make space for things to work out better than we could ever have imagined! Without going into details, I'll just say I've experienced similar. Truly, Father/Divinity knows best!

Thank you too Erika for sharing your story, and glad it all worked out great.

Peace and Love of I,
Jen