Ho'oponopono and Our Inner Child -- Authentic Relationship, Authentic Love

Someone wrote me not long ago asking about relating to our Inner Child -- or Unihipili -- in Ho'oponopono.  We're encouraged to ask this part of us to "clean," even when we're asleep or otherwise engaged.  We can become an inner team this way, aligning all parts of us with Divinity.

It's a very good question, since the person was wondering whether this would be establishing a relationship under false or exploitative pretenses  -- just to get the Inner Child to "do" something for us.

In Ho'oponopono, the Inner Child is the part of us containing all the unconscious memories which can surface as problems like illness, miscommunication, money issues, relationship discord, etc.  The Inner Child also runs our bodies -- and needs care from the mothering part of us, the Uhane.

If we don't clean, our Inner Child continues to suffer.  If we choose to clean (as our Uhane can start the process by saying "I love you") it can let the painful memories go.

In Ho'oponopono training seminars, we're shown specific processes to connect with our Inner Child -- not just to "use" it, but to authentically love it.  Many of us may not have experienced this kind of love in our lives, so it takes some practice. 

But through the methods Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and other wonderful Self-Identity Through Ho'oponopono teachers share, it can be done.  It does require daily practice, though.  Once you realize this part of you has been abused and neglected throughout time, you develop an attitude of care and compassion towards it -- genuine love.

As a doctor, I think this models good self-care, too.  There are processes for preparing the Child to go out into the world, for stocking a bag of supplies he/she may need, helping him/her to feel safe, giving gentle affection, and more.  This is very different from running mindlessly through life, not considering what we may need as simple humans.

Through our behavior and choices in each moment, we're showing  our Inner Child how we approach life and its events: through cleaning, rather than getting embroiled and inflamed in them.  All that stuff comes from memories or data we hold inside anyway.  Best to ask Divinity's help in transmuting and letting them go!  Eventually, the Child learns from us, and wants to do this too.  It pleasures in joining in.

And interesting things happen, when we relate this way.

Yesterday, I was sitting in a seminar in Phoenix, with ~100 other people.  Things were going along, but were not finished.  Inside I began to feel uncomfortable, not sure why.  The speaker was engaging, energetic, and entertaining.  I tried to listen, but my inner discomfort intensified.

Finally, I picked up my things and quietly left the room -- went straight to my car and drove home.  No questions, no discussion, no confusion. 

As I rode down the freeway, my car radio blasted a warning:  a gigantic dust storm with 60 mph winds was on its way!  I looked in my rear view mirror, and could see it mushrooming behind me.  By leaving early, I had escaped having to drive through it.  Just barely.

Dr. Hew Len has often said that when you're clear, you "just do it" -- no questions.  If you're still asking, you're not!  I laughed, thinking of how many times he's told me that . . . . and how many times I've continued to question that answer.  I'm sure my confusion has tested his patience.  :-)

I can't prove it, but I believe cleaning with my Unihipili let it tell me when to GO, even though my conscious mind didn't understand why.  It wasn't logical to miss the rest of a seminar I'd paid for.  But that's what happened. 

I surely do say thank you, many times a day.  I bought some blueberries today, as a special tool to say "Thank You" in another way.  (For those who may not know, blueberries are another Ho'oponopono cleaning tool.  Cleaning by eating them can escape the conscious mind and its questioning.  Very simple.)

Dr. Hew Len says the relationship with our Unihipili is the most important relationship we'll ever have.  I believe he's right.  Thank you, Dr. Hew Len.

Peace begins with me,


Unknown said…
I appreciate your blog so much. Thank you. I was also wondering if you could please tell us specifically 'how' you clean. Do you just say 'thank you' and that's it? I get the conceptual stuff, but more technique would be appreciated. Specific words and phrases and examples of specific times you cleaned and what you cleaned on would be wonderful.
Pam Pappas MD said…
Hi Barb,

Thank you for your comments. There are many ways to clean, and the best is to be doing it constantly. :-) "Thank you," etc is enough to initiate the process, and Divinity knows exactly what to do from there. But there are also countless other ways that might appeal to any of us more, at different times. I can share more of mine as I have been all along. But please understand that you can, as inspired, receive your own cleaning tools from Divinity. We all can, equally. That's one of the most beautiful things about Ho'oponopono.

Unknown said…
Thanks Pam.
I'm quite familiar with all the tools, and was on Mabel's forum for a while, so know the phrases, but no one really gets specific about examples and how they applied them. They just say to clean constantly and to just do it :-)) For example, if you see a horrible car crash on TV, just saying 'thank you I love you' is an effective way to clean on it? Or, when Dr. Hew Len talks about cleaning on the camera lens before he gets filmed, would he just possibly think of the camera lens and just say dewdrop or something like that? I take it one can just mentally think of the thing they are cleaning on, like 'the dentist.' and then just apply a phrase. Yes?
Pam Pappas MD said…

I'm cleaning with frustration right now. I am saying I love you, thank you. :-) Yes, if you see a car crash, you can ask "How do I clean with this?" and an answer will come. You do that. Dewdrop is a great one for all purposes. The issue, though, is that what we THINK we're "cleaning on" may not be what Divinity knows is up. So, our cleaning processes have more extensive effects than we'll ever understand with our conscious minds.

Unknown said…
Okay. Thanks Pam.
Unknown said…
Do you think its as effective to just say 'Thank you and I love you' all the time in the background, sort of like a quiet mantra in the back of my head, or what you term constant cleaning, instead of picking specific things to clean on? Is it important to clean on specific things that are going on in my life? I'm just assuming that my constant mantra will take care of everything.
dae115 said…
I first learned about Ho'oponopono in August of last year (2015). having tried several so called self - help methods. NOTHING has worked for me UNTIL I tried THIS process. I've never known anything to work like this does. I started to see changes more or less straight away. I COULD just say I Love you Thank You, but I prefer to say the full mantra. I LOVE YOU. I'M SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. THANK YOU.
I say it every single day. Even my car know how to do it as I often say it as I drive, both inwardly and outwardly.
YES I still get angry and frustrated some times as we all do because we are all human. I clean and clear on that. I am also more aware of my "Self Talk". No longer do I call myself names as to do so, upsets my "Inner Child" I now constantly "Check" myself.
Pam Pappas MD said…
Thank you for your cleaning, Dae115. :-)
Unknown said…
Thank you so much for this, I will love even more my inner child. Peace begins with me.

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