Friday, September 25, 2009
Live from Ho'oponopono-land: Talking with Money
As Mabel Katz often remarks, there are a lot of "weird" things we do in Ho'oponopono. For instance, we say "thank you" when a problem shows up. Is that counter-intuitive or what?
We also talk to things: cars, computers, kitchen appliances, houses, sculpting tools, chairs, and more. This sounds extremely odd until you learn that in Ho'oponopono, so- called inanimate objects have three-part identities (subconscious, conscious, and superconscious, all linked to Divinity) just like people do.
In fact, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len says there's no such thing as an "inanimate" object. All things have spirit; they can respond to us and how we treat them. Since some of us routinely curse the machines we work with, this talking to things may not really be so alien after all.
But what if these "things" can feel when we're disgusted with them, or worse? What if they can also respond when we show them gratitude? Can they learn to do Ho'oponopono cleaning along with us?
In Ho'oponopono, one of the things we can talk to is money. The conversations many of us are having are fearful ones, though! I've been no different, lately.
In fact there were several nights last week when I couldn't sleep, and was waking up at 3 am. Self-employed people often stew this way. But on one of the awakenings, I remembered that I could clean with and speak to money -- maybe even hear it talk back to me.
So, deep in that restless night, I talked to the money in my business and personal accounts. "If I, my family, relatives, or ancestors have offended you in thought, word, deed or action, I am sorry. Please forgive me for whatever is going on in me that makes me worry about you so much." I also asked my inner child to help us let go of these fears. Saying "I love you," I fell back asleep.
The next morning I felt inspired to take a $20 bill out of my wallet and place it underneath a 3/4-full glass of water in my kitchen. "I want to take better care of you," I told the bill. "Ahhhhhh, thank you!" it said. "I needed that. If you let me rest here today, I'll go back in your wallet and clean the others. More will want to come."
My intellect found all of this a little goofy, but at the same time it seemed the right thing to do. As a child I had often talked to "things", before adults told me it was stupid to do so. It felt like something important coming alive in me again. So I got ready and went on to work, leaving the $20 at home to enjoy its "spa" day.
Greeting my office, I thanked it for holding my patients and me. I said the "I am the I" prayer with my "Self-Identity through Ho'oponopono" manual over my heart. It really felt like comfort and warmth were seeping into me. "Dear Creator," I prayed, "please help me keep you first in all that I do; please guide me as I work with my patients. I love you. Thank you. Help me let go of these worries about money; I'm sorry I have them. Thank you for taking care of me."
The day sped by, and the next.
But on the third day the bill for my malpractice insurance came. Fear rose as I looked at my business account; would there be enough? I asked the money what it needed from me. "We need you to love us!" it said. "We don't know if you want us or not." "I'm sorry," I told it. "I sometimes feel guilty accepting anything for myself." "Well, we want to be with you if you can make up your mind," it said.
Indeed! This comment completely shocked me. "Oh, yes!" I replied, "I DO want you with me." "Then love yourself too, and we'll come around." it said.
By now, I thought I must be completely looney. Money telling me I need to love myself? Sure, sure. But then my office-mate brought in more mail. It seems there was another envelope.
It was a check -- a nice-sized one, for teaching I'd forgotten I'd done.
I'd been deep into fear and self-criticism, thinking I wasn't producing "enough". Guilt about receiving was the other pole -- and this constant cycle, found in many physicians and other healers, felt horrible. This money out of the blue felt like a gift from Divinity, a reminder of being cared for. It was enough to help cover the insurance premium for that month. "Thank you!" I said. "I love you!"
Some will say this is all coincidence, but you'll never convince me of that. I gazed at that check with wonder and awe, deeply pondering the layers of meaning it held for me. With Ho'oponopono, my entire being is coming alive again -- including my inner child who got squashed so many years ago.
Only in Ho'oponopono-land can a psychiatrist talk to "things" and not get carted away. :-)
Peace begins with me,