Tuesday, December 15, 2009

We Clean; God Smiles and Winks

For many people including me, it's been a challenging year. At times I've felt discouraged -- due to family concerns, finances, and sometimes even my worth as a physician.

My specialty is classical homeopathy, a practice that differs from most other psychiatrists like myself. Sometimes this is isolating, and I feel overwhelmed. People who come to see me are often very exasperated with conventional medicine, and their suffering is longstanding and complicated. Some are willing to work with me to understand their problems deeply enough to prescribe remedies effectively; some are not. Initial sessions are 2-3 hours, and I study a lot on top of that. I've seen the kinds of healing possible through these methods, so even though it's difficult for me I keep at it.

Through all this occasional anxiety and discouragement, I've continued to practice Self-Identity Through Ho'oponopono -- sometimes more consistently than others. The times I feel best are when I DO remember to "just do it!" no matter what, as Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len so often reminds us.

Today was one of my low-ebb days; I had a cold, was coughing and sneezing, and had accidentally forgotten the power connection to my computer when coming to the office. There was no time to go back home and get it before my first patient, and so I just did the best I could. I realized that if I was disorganized enough to forget something like that, I needed to do more cleaning. "I'm sorry, please forgive me for neglecting the cleaning this morning," I said. "Thank you for this reminder of what I need to do."

Realizing my own inner energy supply was low, I breathed 7 rounds of "HA". This helped connect all three parts of me . . . with a solid link to Divinity too.

I gently ran my pencil eraser over my appointment list, saying "Peace of I" over each name. I thanked Divinity for these people, even though my laptop would be dead before lunch. (I cleaned, but it still went "off" -- no miracle there! For some reason it didn't bother me like it normally would, though.) I simply dashed out at lunch to buy another power supply for use whenever needed (including today).

The day brought more people into the office, and I cleaned while listening to them. Bills as well as checks arrived in the mail . . . and I said "Thank you!" for it all. I even said "Thank you!" every time I sneezed. :-)

As I was leaving, one of my homeopathic patients came to visit her therapist, who also works in the office. She's a hardworking, serious woman who's been through much trauma and abuse; her previous psychiatrist had treated her with medications alone. I had continued her medicines for the time being, but also recommended talk therapy with EMDR for processing painful emotions. Her therapist is dedicated and very effective; they've been working together well.

After some months, this patient also wanted to have her case taken homeopathically -- which we did. I gave her a remedy based on her unique kind of suffering. With this, she experienced relief from the depression quagmire she had been in for so many years despite her pharmaceuticals; it was a clear improvement even beyond the excellent psychotherapy she was receiving. But she'd had a relapse during a recent visit with certain family members. I gave her another dose of her remedy last week when we met.

"Dr. Pappas?" she peeped her head in the door today. "I've got to tell you! When you gave me that remedy again, I could sleep all the way through the night! I've never done that before! I feel so much better. It's amazing that those little white pills do anything, but they do -- they really do!" I thanked her for telling me, and she went in with her therapist.

I was grateful for these results of a process that can seem so strange to so many. Somehow, hearing about them just at that moment was replenishing for me, in exactly the way I needed. I thanked Divinity for this little reminder that maybe where I am is just right at this time, after all. I kept cleaning with "I love you" on my way out to the car.

Walking through the parking lot, I noticed it was nearly empty. It was a lovely evening, and I enjoyed the feel of the air. For some reason I looked down, though . . . and there at my feet, no other car or person anywhere near, was a $5.00 bill! Now, that was a first for me.

"THANK YOU!" I said, picking it up. I immediately felt it wanted to come with me, to be under my glass of water money-cleaning "spa" at home. What a lovely reminder that I am cared for, and that I can also care for money. I brought the bill in, and it basks happily under the glass as I write this.

Someone asked me a couple of weeks ago whether I had ever experienced any "objective" results of my cleaning. I believe these small, everyday things described above are definite effects. I also believe my forgetting my computer power cord was a distinct reminder that I was in a disconnected state, and needed to power-up my Unihipili with some "HA" breathing. There are other documented stories in this blog as well -- look at what happened in Thanksgiving 2008, for instance.

I believe that if we keep to the cleaning, little reminders and messages do come. Some people call them "God Winks"; I'm just grateful for them, whatever they're called. They keep me going.

And now we'll see if my Inner Child and I can let go of this cold! We'll keep you posted, in between the Echinacea doses.

Peace begins with me,
Pam

2 comments:

Louis Szabo said...

Loved the part about repeating "Peace of I" on your listing of clients!

If you're familiar with EFT, you dan do a tapping while repeating "I am the I" and "The peace of I".
It helps me get "centered" almost immediately

dave said...

I absolutely love this post. I think it is a wonderful example a what taking 100% responsibility for our reality looks like on an everyday basis. It is easy to talk about cleaning and taking responsibility for creating our reality at a seminar, on a vacation or after listening to someone inspirational like Dr. Pam. It is quite something else to clean in everyday life, amongst the chaos we create. On a day when you had a cold, a full day of work and forgot something essential you had every excuse to become a victim. You became proactive and cleaned on every little detail. I believe the five dollar bill and the sense of "IS-ness" you felt in the parking lot was Divinity's way of saying "Nice Job."
If Divinty didn't say that, I will. Nice job. Our practice is in everyday life, not in a monestary.

As for tangible results, The little miracles add up. I personally have been blessed enough to see some of the big ones. Thank you for your wonderful writing.

Peace of I
Dave Nowick
http://www.toughsmart.com