Friday, January 23, 2009
Homeopathy, Ho'oponopono, and Relationships
Why would you imagine that people come to see a psychiatrist -- and a homeopathic psychiatrist at that?
All kinds of stresses and suffering lead them to my door. But out of all the problems I hear, the most frequent is their relationships with each other.
That's right. Some want to be in relationships and can't find them; others are in relationships and want out. Still others are so focused on tormenting each other they wouldn't think of leaving -- but both partners become ill.
In homeopathy, we explore the person's inner experiences. This is not to create a chronological "who did what to whom" kind of document. Instead we want to discover how the life force has tried to adapt to perceived problems; this is revealed through the person's pattern of symptoms and ways of suffering. Through this understanding we can find a medicine from the natural world that contains this same energy pattern -- and thus can catalyze healing.
Believe it or not, there are similarities between this process and Ho'oponopono.
Last weekend Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and Mabel Katz shared some wisdom about relationships that I have continued to ponder.
"People come into your life to show you what you need to let go of -- to bug you," said Dr. Hew Len. "The way they bug you is exactly perfect. "
Perfect? For what?
Perfect to point precisely to what needs healing -- in a way nothing else possibly could. We wouldn't be "bugged" if we weren't "buggy".
When homeopaths listen to patients' stories, we're always wondering what is problematic for them. What doesn't phase one person, drives another up the wall. How are events and circumstances so upsetting for this individual? We want to understand our patients' particular form of "bugginess" -- it is unique and personal. Homeopathy gently unearths these sensitivities so as to find help in healing the life force turmoil that generates them.
Ho'oponopono doesn't examine these in such detail, but respects their significance. In Ho'oponopono, our sensitivities are simply evidence of memories needing transmutation. We can start the process by choosing to "clean" (say "thank you, I love you, I am sorry, etc).
How to do this?
Suppose we're having trouble with someone in our lives. Dr. Hew Len suggested we might say to ourselves, "Thank you, _________, for giving me a chance [to make amends]. You've come into my life to bug me -- thank you! I didn't know I was so buggy!"
Then, rather than cause for unending distress, this seeming "problem" becomes an opportunity for healing.
Applying the homeopathic remedy that matches the pattern of distress can stimulate the person's healing responses. But apparently so can Ho'oponopono, once we realize the problem is not "out there" in the other person, but comes from a memory in us.
This subconscious memory could have been present for eons, running non-stop at low volume. The person "bugging" us turns up the volume, pointing to something that's up for healing. When we let go of it, it can come off others too.
Ho'oponopono adds a further twist to the problems our patients bring us -- one that might be a little harder to grasp.
Patients, with their suffering, come in to "bug" us in a very particular way. They give us yet another chance to release old memories running in our subconscious. If a patient comes to me with marital discord, history of abuse, addiction, depression, and anxiety, guess who's "buggy"? ME!!! Guess who needs to clean? ME!!!
According to Ho'oponopono, patients only come through my door when we have mutual karmic memories or debts to clean. Perfect.
Another piece of this, says Dr. Hew Len, is that "You're not here because people need you -- they need GOD. You're only here to save your own butt."
We can best make way for this by doing our cleaning before patients come in, while they're there, and after they leave. Then our interventions are more likely to be guided by Divine Inspiration than by our "stuff."
"The best help you can give someone," added Mabel, "is to do the cleaning." Her book, The Easiest Way, gives further examples.
Mind you, I listened to all this and thought I was hearing. At the end I went up to Dr. Hew Len and thanked him for "helping" me. He looked at me and sighed. "Nobody can help anybody else, Pam," he said. "I am just here to clean."
Somehow, this was one of the most truly caring things anybody has ever said to me. It also reminds me that even when I think I'm hearing, I still have wax in my ears. I guess Dr. Hew Len, Mabel, and I still have mutual de-bugging to do. :-)
Please forgive me, Mabel and Ihaleakala. I love you.
Peace Begins with Me,