Ho'oponopono for Mixed-Up, Addicted, or Otherwise Suffering Families -- and Beyond

Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method of problem solving, stress release, and making things right. It can help us no matter how resentful, angry, hurt, frightened, or righteously indignant we might be feeling.

Historically, doing Ho'oponopono required all people involved in a conflict to be present -- along with a moderator (usually an elder) who would also offer prayers at appropriate times. The process was a ceremony aimed at resolving differences and restoring harmony.

Morrnah Simeona was a Kahuna Lapa'au (Hawaiian healer employing prayer, herbs, love [aloha] and touch to restore health to ailing people)
who updated this ancient process for modern times. This became Self-Identity Through Ho'oponopono (SITH), as now taught by Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and others all over the world.

Morrnah's SITH process allows each of us to work with Divinity within, rather than physically bringing together everyone with whom we might be having trouble. Ho'oponopono sees any "problems" we might be experiencing as faulty memories or data anyway . . . and any of this can be cleared.

As Morrnah said, "We can appeal to Divinity who knows our personal blueprint, for healing of all thoughts and memories that are holding us back at this time."

I do not understand how this process "works" in terms of physics, principles of non-locality, or anything else. But over the last several years -- and particularly in the last few months with a most challenging situation -- I've had personal experience that it does.

I have previously written about my distress over a family member's long-term health and addiction problems. As these have progressed, the entire family has been through chaos and discord -- with the pain being so deep, some have refused to speak to each other. There have been excuses, lies, blame, loud cries of injustice, and real fear for the future. All in my family have been wounded by this person's behavior, as well as whoever has enabled it.

My own personal cauldron of fury and helplessness has seemed to continue bubbling, despite all the Ho'oponopono cleaning I could muster.

Many times over this period, I've been grateful for help from Dr. Hew Len and Mabel Katz. My voice is on many of Mabel's teleseminars, with both she and Dr. Hew Len offering cleaning suggestions. The calls themselves are opportunities to clean with ALL things raised by ANYONE, not just our own situations . . . . so hopefully others have benefited as well. As Dr. Hew Len and Mabel say, "Whatever comes off of us, comes off of everyone else too."

Back in February-March of this year, weird things started happening in my house. Lights and fans were going "on" without anyone hitting the switch to make them do that. Things started coming out of kitchen drawers and ending up on the floor, when I hadn't put them there. Really, I would be sitting in my family room and the ceiling fan would suddenly start whirring overhead. Or I would leave the room and come back, noticing that the ceiling light had come on in my absence.

It was spooky.

In fact, these events were eerie reminders of Dr. Hew Len's experience at Hawaii State Hospital -- when showers would go on and toilets would flush with no one in or on them.

Though he is very busy and I hesitated to bother him, I finally asked Dr. Hew Len for a cleaning tool I might use in this escalating situation with my family. He wrote back with one, which because it is unique to me, I will not share here. I thanked him profusely and have used it A LOT over the past few months, along with my other cleaning practices. (glass of water, drinking blue solar water, breathing HA, etc).

My family member got sicker and more addicted, with even more distress resulting in the one trying to take care of/control her. Many hospitalizations later, she was found to have a growing lung mass -- which she didn't want diagnosed fully or treated. This is her right, of course.

Whenever worry, anger, hurt, or whatever would rise up in me, I would keep cleaning with Ho'oponopono, especially my particular "tool". Any of us can ask Divinity for such tools on our own -- but I felt overwhelmed at the time. I cannot fully convey the depth of this suffering; I felt so torn about what I should "do" or "not do", it seemed like I was sinking.

But a couple of weeks ago I noticed a very strange thing. Where for years I had been so full of rage, shame, guilt, and a multitude of other painful emotions about and towards this family member, all of this was simply and inexplicably gone. Vanished. Poof!

I have no idea where it went -- but it's not in my experience anymore.

I was able to collect my wits, and connect with family members who had all seemed to go their separate ways. There was no longer need for drama, blame, righteousness, or reference to the past. My actively ill family member is now in Hospice, receiving the care she needs until the end. Where I was so contorted with my own misery before, I am able to respond in the moment and from the heart.

It's not that previous painful things did not happen -- but it's more that my emotional charge about them has left. I see the suffering, but am not wallowing in it. I feel compassion and care, but not pity or further need to self-justify.

I do what comes naturally in response to what seems needed -- and this to me feels like inspiration coming through. It feels authentic, unconflicted, and clear -- a huge difference from before.

I offer this follow-up in case anyone ever wonders whether Ho'oponopono "works". The biggest thing it has changed, though, is ME -- and this is exactly what needed changing the most.

"It's only about persistent nonstop cleaning," said Dr. Hew Len. "We don't experience [others] directly; we experience them as memories replaying. SITH is a simple process of petitioning Divine Creator to release the memories through repentance, forgiveness, and transmutation."

I am grateful.

Peace begins with me,


iceblueg said…
Aloha Pam!

Great post! I am participating in Russian Hooponopono forum. I loved your post and ask your permission to translate it into Russian and post it there. Please check with your inspiration if it is ok. Thank you! I love you!


P.S. my email is gulechka14@gmail.com
Anonymous said…
This is beautiful, Pam. Thank you for sharing your experience. May you continue to have healing for your family at this time of transition.

Pam Pappas MD said…
Thank you for your kindness, Abby. My family and I appreciate it.

Proud Poppa said…
Thank you for sharing this, Pam. I am grateful. It was posted at a perfect time for me. It helps to confirm what I already know re cleaning, letting go and not giving up and that sometimes we are about to give give up just before dawn is about to break forth. Love you, Jimmy
Proud Poppa said…
Dear Pam, It has now been several hours since I posted a comment to this post and it has been amazing what is taking place. The post is acting as a cleaning tool for me just in the reading and re-reading. The last couple of days have been very stressful and I was struggling with an incident, the result of a major problem that has plagued every aspect of my life since early childhood. After reading your latest post earlier today, as I was cleaning afterward, it felt as if this may go back many generations on my father's side of the family. During the day, little by little it feels like this heavy burden is floating away. I feel lighter, happier and as if a heavy burden is being lifted away. In fact right now, 3:09pm EDT, I feel like a totally new person in a way I can't describe. If inspired, I will be posting later on my blog and who knows maybe a book will come out of this. Have felt for years there was one to write when the time came. Thank you dear friend. Peace of I.

I love you!

Pam Pappas MD said…
Dear Jimmy,

Thank you so much for your comments, and sharing what's happening with you too. I am cleaning with you and whatever is going on in me that connects with this situation and burden you mention here.

I am sorry
please forgive me
thank you
I love you

Divinity is here in us all -- transmuting the memories to Zero!

Letting go,
Proud Poppa said…
Pam, this is so wonderful! Thank you. I was going to email you and ask for help cleaning and Dr Len and Mabel, too and then I received notice by email of this new blog post. Reminds me of the scripture that says, "BEFORE you ask I will answer, and while you are yet speaking I shall give it unto thee." Wow!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
SoulErika said…
Hi Pam , I have read some of your posts now and then as I follow them on Google reader. This one made me think of my Mum who has had some health issues and I have been doing my best to clean with these memories. I visited a couple of months ago and did what I could but found it difficult to be clear of my own stuff. When I heard recently that she was worse I felt that nothing I had done to help had helped . I wanted to clear this in me that I wanted to make her better, so reading your post has been helpful.Its different when you are personally involved as your own issues come up and start trying to run the show . so I feel there is hope for me to feel at peace and serve her best that way.
I would like to clean on anything in me that is seeing her as less than perfectly healthy and happy thankyou I love you. And for all memories here with this post I love you all God Bless you and thankyou Hu Hu Hu .
love Soulerika
Pam Pappas MD said…
Thank you, Erika, for your cleaning and sharing so that any who read this can also let go. What comes off of you and me, also comes off of everyone else!

Peace of I,
KT said…
Dear Pam, I just knew Ho'oponopono way this April and practiced the way from that time. I've bothered by my 17-year-old son's behaviour. He doesn't concentrate on study, just playing truant, hanging around and smoking secretly. Sometimes he's stable sometimes not. Like he just went to school around 10:40 this morning.I know I just keep cleaning myself. but honestly speaking, I was very angry inside when I cleaned if those situations happened. Then I couldn't clean peacefully. Is it not right? But I can't ignore those anger. Could you please give me some suggestions? Thank you.
Pam Pappas MD said…
Dear Victor,

Thank you for your great question about anger, which many of us may feel in relationship to others. This question deserves a more thorough post than I can do here, so I will do that soon. But in the meantime, please know you can also clean with any emotions that are arising in you -- including this anger. All of this comes up so that you have opportunity to let go -- and now so do I, since you told it to me! :-) You may or may not feel "release" immediately, but emotional responses are certainly things to clean with . . . . gently, lovingly, as you would with a deeply loved child. That would be YOUR inner child, that you are caring for by hearing and cleaning with this anger.

Peace of I,
Unknown said…
I so appreciate your insights and explanations. Have you ever directly experienced someone physically healing as a result of ho'oponono...yourself or someone you know? For example, like a disease of some sort, or a sore neck, or a rash....something like that..?
Pam Pappas MD said…
Aloha Barb,

It's not mine to determine if others' healing has come directly through Ho'oponopono or not. I do know that I myself have experienced reduction in pain, worry, and stress when practicing Ho'oponopono. At many of the training seminars, you can meet people who speak about their own healings -- some from illnesses. Sometimes Dr. Hew Len or other teachers will invite participants to speak of their experiences to the group.

Proud Poppa said…
q"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for everyone and everything in my life. And Thank you for my hearing."

Does Ho'oponopono work? As Pam said in the above post, "I offer this follow-up in case anyone ever wonders whether Ho'oponopono "works". The biggest thing it has changed, though, is ME -- and this is exactly what needed changing the most."

My experience has been exactly the same as Pam's. The biggest thing it has changed, though, is ME -- and this is exactly what needed changing the most."

I am humbled and grateful beyond words to be able to say this.

It has been said that a miracle is a changed consciousness. I certainly can verify those words.

For Ho'oponopono to work in my life though, my only job is to clean up the data in me that I experience as problems in myself and others. It works whether I believe it or not. The only requirement is that I do the Ho'oponopono cleaning.

So the formula for me is "clean, let go and trust" that whatever is right and perfect will be and at the perfect time, and I have no idea what or when or whether or how that should be.

Ho'oponopono as I understand it and have experienced it is not about creating or changing things with my mind, but using my mind to make choices and choose to do the cleaning and allow God/Divinity/Life/Unconditional Love to do whatever is right and perfect in the situation I am cleaning on.

The results? As I sit here in my recliner and contemplate this and gaze around our sun room and look out the windows on three sides, see the water and Cape Lookout in the distance, there is no place on earth I would rather be this moment or be doing than typing these comments on my Blackberry.

As for the many miracles we have experienced, some are still in process including healing of total deafness in both ears that occurred some years ago. Shortly after learning of and practicing Ho'oponopono, my eligibility for cochlear implants was canceled as was my appointment for surgery. Recently I was able to stop wearing my left hearing aid and who knows? Maybe my right hearing aid can go, too. In any case, Life just gets better by the day for me and my family.

Clean, Let Go and Trust. No expectations. Expectations can hinder the flow in the pipeline. However, the hopes and dreams and expectations I did have far been exceeded!!! :-) Peace of I.

Wai Ali'i

Jimmy Piver

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