Ho'oponopono for Mixed-Up, Addicted, or Otherwise Suffering Families -- and Beyond

Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method of problem solving, stress release, and making things right. It can help us no matter how resentful, angry, hurt, frightened, or righteously indignant we might be feeling.

Historically, doing Ho'oponopono required all people involved in a conflict to be present -- along with a moderator (usually an elder) who would also offer prayers at appropriate times. The process was a ceremony aimed at resolving differences and restoring harmony.

Morrnah Simeona was a Kahuna Lapa'au (Hawaiian healer employing prayer, herbs, love [aloha] and touch to restore health to ailing people) who updated this ancient process for modern times. This became Self-Identity Through Ho'oponopono (SITH), as now taught by Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and others all over the world.

Morrnah's SITH process allows each of us to work with Divinity within, rather than physically bringing together everyone with whom we might be having trouble. Ho'oponopono sees any "problems" we might be experiencing as faulty memories or data anyway . . . and any of this can be cleared.

As Morrnah said, "We can appeal to Divinity who knows our personal blueprint, for healing of all thoughts and memories that are holding us back at this time."

I do not understand how this process "works" in terms of physics, principles of non-locality, or anything else. But over the last several years -- and particularly in the last few months with a most challenging situation -- I've had personal experience that it does.

I have previously written about my distress over a family member's long-term health and addiction problems. As these have progressed, the entire family has been through chaos and discord -- with the pain being so deep, some have refused to speak to each other. There have been excuses, lies, blame, loud cries of injustice, and real fear for the future. All in my family have been wounded by this person's behavior, as well as whoever has enabled it.

My own personal cauldron of fury and helplessness has seemed to continue bubbling, despite all the Ho'oponopono cleaning I could muster.

Many times over this period, I've been grateful for help from Dr. Hew Len and Mabel Katz. My voice is on many of Mabel's teleseminars, with both she and Dr. Hew Len offering cleaning suggestions. The calls themselves are opportunities to clean with ALL things raised by ANYONE, not just our own situations . . . . so hopefully others have benefited as well. As Dr. Hew Len and Mabel say, "Whatever comes off of us, comes off of everyone else too."

Back in February-March of this year, weird things started happening in my house. Lights and fans were going "on" without anyone hitting the switch to make them do that. Things started coming out of kitchen drawers and ending up on the floor, when I hadn't put them there. Really, I would be sitting in my family room and the ceiling fan would suddenly start whirring overhead. Or I would leave the room and come back, noticing that the ceiling light had come on in my absence.

It was spooky.

In fact, these events were eerie reminders of Dr. Hew Len's experience at Hawaii State Hospital -- when showers would go on and toilets would flush with no one in or on them.

Though he is very busy and I hesitated to bother him, I finally asked Dr. Hew Len for a cleaning tool I might use in this escalating situation with my family. He wrote back with one, which because it is unique to me, I will not share here. I thanked him profusely and have used it A LOT over the past few months, along with my other cleaning practices. (glass of water, drinking blue solar water, breathing HA, etc).

My family member got sicker and more addicted, with even more distress resulting in the one trying to take care of/control her. Many hospitalizations later, she was found to have a growing lung mass -- which she didn't want diagnosed fully or treated. This is her right, of course.

Whenever worry, anger, hurt, or whatever would rise up in me, I would keep cleaning with Ho'oponopono, especially my particular "tool". Any of us can ask Divinity for such tools on our own -- but I felt overwhelmed at the time. I cannot fully convey the depth of this suffering; I felt so torn about what I should "do" or "not do", it seemed like I was sinking.

But a couple of weeks ago I noticed a very strange thing. Where for years I had been so full of rage, shame, guilt, and a multitude of other painful emotions about and towards this family member, all of this was simply and inexplicably gone. Vanished. Poof!

I have no idea where it went -- but it's not in my experience anymore.

I was able to collect my wits, and connect with family members who had all seemed to go their separate ways. There was no longer need for drama, blame, righteousness, or reference to the past. My actively ill family member is now in Hospice, receiving the care she needs until the end. Where I was so contorted with my own misery before, I am able to respond in the moment and from the heart.

It's not that previous painful things did not happen -- but it's more that my emotional charge about them has left. I see the suffering, but am not wallowing in it. I feel compassion and care, but not pity or further need to self-justify.

I do what comes naturally in response to what seems needed -- and this to me feels like inspiration coming through. It feels authentic, unconflicted, and clear -- a huge difference from before.

I offer this follow-up in case anyone ever wonders whether Ho'oponopono "works". The biggest thing it has changed, though, is ME -- and this is exactly what needed changing the most.

"It's only about persistent nonstop cleaning," said Dr. Hew Len. "We don't experience [others] directly; we experience them as memories replaying. SITH is a simple process of petitioning Divine Creator to release the memories through repentance, forgiveness, and transmutation."

I am grateful.

Peace begins with me,
Pam